Not to toot my own horn, but I think I’m pretty good at playing trumpet.
Actual Conversation at the Library:
Utsav: I need someone to write lyrics for me.
Marco: Are you looking for real lyrics or for rap lyrics?
Q: How many country & western singers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to change the bulb and two to sing about the old one.
So a Pakistani who is just learning English meets an amnesiac. They strike up a conversation, and the amnesiac introduces himself as “John I. Smith”. The Pakistani, always curious about others’ names, asks, “What do “I.” stand for?” The amnesiac replies, “Most nights, I don’t know.”
Q: We all know that a viola is better than a violin because it burns longer. But why does it burn longer?
A: It’s usually still in the case.
man, I bet those guys got laid that night
Wow I still get the biggest boners over the snare line.
not a joke but… this is fucking amazing
What’s the difference between a seamstress and a violist?
The seamstress tucks up the frills.
What’s the difference between a seamstress and a soprano?
The seamstress tucks and frills.
What’s the difference between a seamstress and a french horn player?
The seamstress says “Tuck the frills.”
A drummer, tired from being ridiculed by other musicians, decides to change instruments. At the music store, he goes up to the sales counter and says, “I’ll take that red trumpet over there, and that accordion.” After a second, the store clerk says ,“OK, you can have the fire extinguisher but the radiator stays.”